Dear Jen.
I know it isn't easy, but take a look in the mirror and see if you really like what you see. I know you say you are happy with your size, but what is the truth?
You are happy with the reflection because you don't have dark circles under your eyes or the spot you had has finally disappeared, not your size. I promise you that the feeling of not liking your body doesn't have to last forever. You have to accept that things can change.
Do you want this to be your life forever?
Sleeping right on the edge of the bed is not a way to carry on. Look in the mirror and see that you are worth more. You could change and not worry about it.
Why didn't the doctor encourage you to lose weight when he said it would improve your condition? It isn't the way your life should be if you're in pain daily and struggling to breathe. Can you imagine running? I hear you laughing because you don't run in the rain and have no intention of ever running. You can be in control of this Jen, and you can change your life.
You need to accept that you don't like certain parts of your life and work out how to change them. No-one should be humiliated and bullied daily by someone who loves them. Is your depression due to the situation you are in?
What would you say to a friend?
Losing weight will not be easy, you don't have to eat salad. You can still eat. You won't be able to keep eating a couple of big packs of custard creams daily and ordering pizzas a few times a week, but you will still love your food. One day you could enjoy running.
Sounds like I'm talking about someone else. Right?
If you put your mind to it, you will be slim and fit one day. Accept that you are not happy and make that start.
Make your life something you are proud of by looking at everything in it's entirety. Make sure that you wake up in the morning. You are not filled with dread, but you are excited.
I have been where you are now Jen, morbidly obese, in an abusive relationship and unhappy with my life in general. If you look at me now you probably wouldn’t believe I was so hugely overweight and that I drove everywhere. I am so happy now and you could be too, accept you want to change and you could be me in a few years. I am happy, healthy and I feel amazing. I believe in you Jen, I know you can do this, you just have to see that for yourself and do it.
You have one life Jen, make it a happy life, make it a healthy life, do it for you!
Love
Jen
xx
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References:
1. fibromyalgia
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